Thursday, October 15, 2009

Feeeeeeed Us!!

I actually woke up at 6:06 (CST).  Okay, okay, I really should have gotten up then.  But not actually having any reason to get up (okay, I should but I've got three doctor/orthodontist appointments to deal with today and no day work until next week at least), I turned over to get some more sleep. I got... maybe... half an hour.  Suddenly... the Siamese Sonic Alarm Clock™ went off!!  Zaphy, who probably has the loudest voice in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Horde jumped up on the bed, made his way (increasing his body weight by at last twice) over my body, and appeared across from my face.  The entire time he was yelling.  Merrrrrrrr-oooooooow!!!  Merrrrrrrrr-oooooooooowwwwwww!!!!  and then, just in case I might have missed it... Merrrrrrrrrrrrr-oooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!

"Okay, Zaph Zaph , I'm up already!  Geez Louise!"  So he proceeds to follow my path down the bed, during which I have to pet him or else be exposed to even yet more talking.  Trust me on this.  This is a normal thing with Zaphy.  For the Zaphy must be petted.  This is a mortal imperative.  Seriously.  He follows me until I hit the bathroom.  I am allowed privacy there... well, by Zaph & Thomas... most of the time... okay, half of the time.

Forget it with Star & Oberon.  Oberon is especially fascinated with water.  He is absolutely convinced that if you are going into the bathroom that you're going to take a shower or bath.  If you're going to do that, he's got to watch.  The water might do something.  No, really.  He also likes to sleep in the sink.  Hmmmmm, sinnnnnnk.

Where were we?  Oh yes, so there I was, brushing my teeth when Thomas appeared.  Now Thomas had been the Cat Nurse in Charge™ when I went to sleep last night.  He came into the bathroom going, Mer-ow!  Mer-ow!  Mer-ow!  I take my meds and go back into the bedroom to get dressed.  Thomas follows and jumps onto the bed.  Muahahahahahahahaha!  This was my chance.  For indeed, Sir Thomas has needed his claws trimmed.  I proceeded to trap him in between me and a pillow, got out the clippers, and started clipping.  Ha!  Take that!

As usual, Tom was fairly good through the first paw.  This is normal at our house.  I kept telling him what a good boy he was.  Despite his protest, I managed to get the other paw done.  I only clip the front paws.  I pulled out a treat which he consumed as if he'd been starved for a week.  This confirmed my suspicion.  I made my way to the kitchen with Thomas eagerly leading the way.  Oh my!  Look!  Look!  Three members of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Kitty Horde gathered around the food dishes... which still contained some food from last nights feeding.

Yes, it's obvious how cruelly we treat these poor boys.  Why Moooo-ooooom, weeeeeee're staaaaaarrrrrrr-vvviiiiiing!  We'vvvvvveeee nooooooot eaaaaaaten in daaaaaaaaays!!!  This explains why the smallest cat, Star, is 10-11 pounds of muscle.  ::snicker::

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