Can't Clean Without Serfs

Warning!  Warning!  Danger Will Robinson!!  If you don't like to clean, don't read this!!  Now you have to understand that I used to love to clean.  No, really!!  The cats would follow me around going "Mom??  Mom??  What are you doing??"  I would get down on my knees and scrub the kitchen floor with a scrub brush.  I made sure that my counters were clean every night (and shooed all the baby cats off of them!).  ::sigh::  But now, I can't do that.  My cats won't let me.

"I'm sorry mom, but you can't get up right now."

You see??  I'm trapped.  And when he gets down, he gets into my closet!!  I have to deal with that!!

Everyone is in on it.

It doesn't matter if I've put on shorts and just planned to exercise!!

"This is actually my favorite position to keep mom down

but for some reason she moves me after awhile.

She keeps saying something about how much I weigh.  ::sigh::"

Now if I could just get Da Boys to help me.  Hmmmm.  I mean really, Thomas is always all over.  Zaphy has several places he hangs out in when he's feeling fine, Mister Kitten could do the bed & the the floors, & Star could take care of vacuuming them the carpet as well as doing my office.  No, really!!

 oes to the clothes/other page

Thomas!!! Bad Cat!

Okay boy, you'd better behave better today!!  It was bad enough that I started the day hurting from the fall I had the day before.  At least Zaphy-cat was feeling better, right?  Right.  He'd eaten a bowl of his softened food and later in the morning he told me he was hungry.  So silly me, since he didn't want it in the bathroom, I took it to the kitchen by the other food.  Oh yes!!  This was just what Zaphy wanted!  He began chowing down.  Now Thomas.  Remember Thomas?  We named this post Thomas.  Harumph!  Well, Thomas came over to see what Zaphy had and decided that whatever Zaphy had must be his.  ::narrows eyes::  Now, I was not happy about this.  Imagine that.  So I leaned over, bopped Thomas on the nose, and went, "Thomas!!"

 "Gosh mom, if it's in the food area, it's supposed to be mine, right??"

Thomas, knowing how much trouble he was in, went skitter scattering around and behind me and tore off like... like... well, like a cat whose momma has just swatted him on the nose!!  ::head:wall::  Unfortunately, Zaphoid had only taken two bites and... is a bit nervous.  Which isn't too surprising given that he's also known as Emo Kitty.  ::sigh::  So back went the dish to my master bath along with a new dish.  He hasn't touched either of them yet, but one never knows what a cat will do in the night.  Mister Kitten made himself seen this evening.  Star was about for a bit.  But that's not what this post is about.

 "Who me??  I've been playing panther this summer.

I must say that I look quite stunning in the middle of the lawn,

especially in the moonlight."

For you see, there was another... incident.  Now you have to understand something.  Thomas has been raised since he was a weaned kitten with me.  I have had bad knees since... forever.  So Thomas has been trained by me, my ex, my kids, and Christopher T. Cat Founder of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Kitty Horde to follow Sacred Rule Number One: Do NOT Wrap Around Mom's Feet When She's Moving!!  (and be careful when she's not!)  I'm sure by now that you've realized what happened.  ::sigh::  I was headed down the hall.  I saw Thomas right beside me.  He looked up right at me.  We've done this a gazillion times.  (No, really this time!)

"I don't suppose you happen to have any treats on you, do you?"

But this time, this time, this time, he wrapped himself around his feet as I was about to take a step!!!  THOMAS!!  He skittered and scattered and took himself away while I managed to keep myself from falling.  Now, of course, he knows he can get away with a certain amount because he's just too darn cute.  In fact, while I was typing this, he came up going, "Meeeoooom!!!!  Meeeeoooom!  Moooooom!  Timmy's in the well again!!"  Normally I would have just let him know that I'd just laid down and he'd have to wait but then he placed his right forepaw ever so gently on my arm, looked deeply in my eyes, and pleaded, "Moooom!"  ::sigh::  What's a momma to do??  So I got up, went with him into the kitchen where all the bowls were full (no, that's not it mom!), and he headed to the piano where he hopped up and meowed at the door.  The door??  The door??  You want me to let you OUT??  THOMAAAASSSSSS!!!!!

It's pictures like this that keep Thomas from becoming trim.  harumph!

yep... I think I'll need the big cup... heh

Sure Honey, Say It All You Want, We Believe You...

Now my husband resembles my daddy in many many ways.  They both speak in about the same manner.  They are both quite jovial.  They both have the same evile sense of humor.  They both enjoy talking about history... oh wait, make that any kind of debate!  They can both start up a joke and carry it (if you're in the US, think Drew Carry's show Whose Line Is It Anyway?) which is cool, because my husband and I do this at home as well (we're trying to teach my children too).

There is one other thing which my husband does that my daddy does which made me know that he was the man for me.  Picture a man sitting in a comfy chair.  Now picture a cat either sitting beside the man, laying on the armrest of the chair, or even laying ::gasp:: in the man's lap.  You will find the man, when he thinks no one is looking, stroking the cat (supposedly as if he didn't know he were doing so) quite knowledgeably while saying, "I don't like you cat.  You know, I don't even know why I feed you.  You are completely worthless, you know.  If you were a dog, you would fetch my slippers.  I really don't care for cats at all.  I have no idea why we keep you around.  Perhaps we should have you for dinner.  Oh wait, we don't have a pot big enough!" and so on and thus and such and so and so, all the while saying this in a coaxing tone while the cat accepts his or her due praise, purring and purring and purring.

"I often make it my job to make sure that dad's pillow
is warm when he's ready to go to sleep!"

"We all help guard dad's piano."

"You can see that dad & Mister Kitten just can't get along at all."

"Dad helped mom do this one by suggesting the line.
Then mom knew which cat it worked with.