Start Getting Ready!!

 "My first birthday is coming up!!  Mom had it down as

the first but she ran across my records the other day and

it said mid-June so we're going to celebrate on Saturday

or Sunday depending on what's going on around here."

 "I've been helping taking especial care of mom 'cus she's been

hurting & Jen's in the hospital.  I am very good at this!!"

 "Don't I look ever so grown-up and stunningly beautiful??"

 "Yeah, I guess she's growing up.  She isn't hissing at me as much."

  "I would like everycat to come celebrate with us!  We may just

party allllll weekend!!  We'll have plenty of greenies & catnip & valerian (mmmmmmm valerian!) and lots of other yummy stuff!"

Audrey is Feeling Much Much Better!!

 "I'm feeling sooooo much better!"

 "My arch-nemesis Knives has been picking on me

all morning!  I think he's mad because mom

locked him out of her bedroom all weekend."

 "I've been playing with toys this morning and last night

I even played with my favorite hair bands!  I've

been running around and trilling and purring."

"Mom!  Hey mom!!  You should give

me lots and lots of special treats!!"

Monday, Monday...

 "Everycat is soooooo blue.  I think we all need more naps."

 "And treats, I'm sure I saw one fall down here... if not, I can play with the shoes like my twin brother of another mother, Star!"

 "I should get the most treats.  See how innocent I am?

This is the face of innocence."

"Knives?  Innocent?  Dude.  Seriously.

Even the Feeders won't buy that one!"

"Okay dad, I know what I want for dinner!!"

World's Newest Escape Artist or Dad is an Easy Mark

 "For the record, mom's endoscopy looked good, but she won't know about the biopsy results until next week.  We've been making her rest since she was cleaning waaaaay too much trying to get the house ready for a... a... a... something... to get the house refinanced so she & daddy can have green papers.  This is me on top of Andy.  Andy is the name of daddy's baby grand piano and is beside the front door."

 "Don't I look cute??  So why doesn't anyone want to let me OUT??  That's okay, dad isn't good at keeping me from getting OUT so I have managed to sneak OUT the back door.  HA ha HA!!  But my stinky ole' brothers Star and Zaphy won't let me be by myself out there!!  Mean ole' brothers.  They taught me that if I hear dogs or cars I must jump inside the fence FAST FAST FAST!!  Now if mom would just let me OUT!!  Harumph!  Dad is the only smart one.  He keeps saying it's okay and mom & Jennifer & Corwyn keep putting their hands on their hips and using lazer eyes at him.  And now he's gone to get the screen that Zaphy put a great cat flap in in the back screen door replaced with a pet-proof screen!  Mean ole' daddy.  grrrrrrrrr"

 "I like my brothers Star & Thomas & Zaphy.  I'll sniff and trade face rubs with them.  But that stinky ole' yellow cat Knives keeps looking at me!!  So I growl at him.  Stinky ole' yellow cat.  We fight over the window 'seat' in mom & dad's bedroom.  Maybe when they get green papers they'll put in a window seat just for me in the kitchen!!"

 "Are you sure there isn't a treat left in that bag??"

"Mom makes sure that everycat who has ever been in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Kitty Horde is not only spayed & neutered but also has a tag with their name & phone number on it.  (She doesn't use our rabies tags because some of us have been collar escape artists.)"

How to Terrify Your Mom in Four Easy Steps by Audrey

"So dad's been working on fixing the back door outside.

This means that I have to stay in their bedroom while he's doing it

because there aren't any other doors to close me off in the house.

As I'm sure everycat is aware, This Is Not Fair To Cats™!!

Fortunately, dad forgot about the fact that I am

fast, fast, fast and I managed to get OUT.

But he caught me and put me in the fenced yard.  HA!"

"You see, during time I've walked outside, I found out that you can jump over the back and side fence!  Well, I didn't do that the first time I got OUT of the back yard.  Muahahahahahahaha!  No, I went under the fence through a spot mom didn't know about!  Go me!!"

"For some reason mom got all worried and scared about me being out and going into the bushes with the sharp thingees that didn't bother me at all!  She was calling and calling.  My twin brother of another mother Star and my brother Zaphoid came OUT with me after all!!  Really!!  Why would it bother mom just because she didn't have Star's toys that mom calls shoes??  She almost got me and then went in to get some stinky stuff called too-nah.  All the boys wanted it and I came out to get some but stinky ole' mom tried to pick me up!!  Pooh!  I jumped back into the yard.  Mom tried to pick me up again so of course I had to jump back over again!  Then I went back into the brush and the Lady Next Door who has all the Woofies That Yell at Us asked what was wrong.  Mom told her that I was OUT.  ::rolls eyes::  The Lady Next Door said something about 'beating the bushes'.  I didn't like the sound of that so I ran back out again.  Wouldn't you know it, mom got me this time!!  She tossed me into the house and pulled the not-yet-fixed-door so that I couldn't open it.  ::pout::  Then she came back into the house through the front door.  I told her and told her I wanted to go back OUT but she said "No!"  Mean ole' mommy!!  She even made me go back into her room!  Oh well, at least she let me have the too-nah in there.  Harrumph."

"Well, I'm tired and I'm going to take a nap now.  It's hard

work scaring moms!!  I need to make sure I'm extra

extra cute so she'll give me looooots of treats tonight.

I'm really going to need them!  Hmmm, I wonder what 'adult beverages' are and why mom is talking about them?"

Sunny Sunday...

 "Star was with us for a minute but jumped down before

mom could take a picture of us being nice to each other.

We got treats for being good!!"

 "This is still my favorite place to sit, although I have discovered that the middle part of the cat condo downstairs is pretty cool."

 "Dad says I've gained too much weight.

I blame the nice lady next door who gives us gooshy food!"

 "I'm feeling better.  My face looks good but mom noticed

me holding my right leg up a bit when I sit.  She

checked it all over but nothing is swollen and I didn't

protest so she's just keeping an eye on it for now."

Dad says Audrey needs to keep out of his stuff!!

Quick Update!

 "You can barely see Nova but for the last two nights mom

has woken up so see us both laying on the bed beside her.

Of course, as soon as she does we have to hiss & growl

so she doesn't know we are beginning to like each other!!"

 "Yesterday I got a package from Noodle & Olive!!

What??  Oh.  Thanks Noodle & Olive!!"

 "They sent me TOYS!  And TREATS!!  And a water fountain

they didn't use.  Mom?  What's a water fountain?"

 "Oooooh!  Okay.  You might want to set that on

something to make it higher off the floor mom."

"Mom had two doctor's appointments yesterday which is why she didn't let us onto the 'puter to write.  Bad mommy!!  No biscuit!!"

Traitors!! (and after I got you new treats even!)

 "Last night I abandoned both mom & Jennifer for dad.  This afternoon mom wished she had a functional camera.  Yesterday we had tornado weather and the fall wreath fell and is on the porch.

So, of course I decided to take a nap in it!!"

 "I abandoned mom for Jennifer and then somehow her door got closed so I couldn't get out.  I am not sure who to blame yet.  Mom tried bribing me with treats last night but it didn't work the way

she wanted.  I otoh got lots & lots of treats & pettings!!  YAY!"

 "Again, mom didn't have a camera to take our picture but we were both about here laying on top of the tub mom's seasonal clothes live inside up in the attic.  We kept posing very well too.  heh heh heh"

This is totally untrue!!  Okay, he didn't get as many as

Star but he got more than one set of treats!!

There's a Star on the Shed!!

This morning we were all running late.  Why??  Because Jennifer decided to sleep downstairs with me on Dale's side of the bed.  When the alarm went off she turned on the light and hit a button.  Now, silly me, I assumed she had hit the 'snooze' button.  Au contraire!  She had turned it off!!  Thus we woke up at 0715!!  Now, you must understand that the kids need to be at the bus stop by 0725.  Neither of them are Larks.  Both of them are Owls.  So there was nothing for it but that I take them to school.  Not something I really wanted to do given how I've been feeling but being tardy would have been worse.  We did stop at the local Krogers (just around the corner and almost on the way) so that Jennifer could pick up a lunch since we were out of ham.  Got to school at Whew!!

I stopped back by Krogers on the way home to get some gas since my van was on... fumes.  I pulled into the driveway and as I got out of the van, the neighbor helpfully pointed out, "Star's on top of the shed.  I don't think he can get down.  ::head:laptop::  Poor pitiful Star!!  I pulled over a chair to see if I could reach him, as our ladder is still at my mom's house in Nashvegas.  Almost!!  But he refused to come over the slope within reach of my hands.  Nothing else was taller that I could step on safely.  My neighbor queried about my success and I said that I needed a ladder.  She said that she might have one in her garage, put her dog in the house, and proceeded to look.  Just before she got to the garage, Star made a Mighty Leap!!  I called out, "Never mind!  He's down now!"  I guess it just took the threat, either that or he was worried about me climbing the ladder!!  Mister Kitten and Star came docilely inside whilst Thomas decided at the last minute he didn't really want to go in the back door.  ::rolls eyes::  At the moment there are no members of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Kitten Horde to be seen!  Guess no one wants morning treats!

 "Well?  What did you expect mom??  I am a Ninja after all!!"

Actually, I can, but....

Poll... What Should We Work On??

"Okay, we've been helping mom with the shop and we need to know what to make mom work on next.  Of course we have to make sure she doesn't work very long because it makes her hurt.  Last night I kept sitting on her mouse which made her mad.  HAHA!  I am the bestest at doing it because I weigh way way way way more much than anyone else in the Ninja Horde.  ::purrrrrrrrrrrrr::  Star is still avoiding the bed because he's mad at mommy for pilling him.  He's actually gotten up on the bed today for the first time in days."

"I'm helping by conserving energy.  Conserving energy is very important to keep the world green.  No, really!!"

generic holiday stuff... heh heh heh

All Right Boys, What Did You Do With My Life?

I've been missing my black book (organizer aka my life!) for about a week now.  I really need it because it not only holds my appointments but has cards from all of the doctors that I and my children see and have seen within the last few years.  I have looked everywhere in the house and in my van.  Now there are some other things that have gone missing in this last week as well.  I suspect the Teenage Mutant Ninja Kitty Horde.  They always look cute and innocent because that gets you treats.  But they are Ninjas with all that implies.  Star likes to attack from chairs, both sitting on the seat where he blends in somehow (even white ones!) or under them, although he will also use corners, doors, floors, and beds.  Suddenly a swift paw shoots out and tags you, aha!!

Zaphoid waits until you set something down on the bed and then lays on it so that you can't move it.  Well, so does Thomas and Mister Kitten.  This is a sacred duty.  Star doesn't do this because he would rather use his Mutant Ninja Powers on getting more treats.

"You are getting sleeeeeepy.  You will give me more treats.

You love to give me treats.  Treats are goooood.  Because the other cats put themselves first you will give me more treaaaaaats."

And so I suspect Da Boys.  Either that or it's Gremlins.  Okay boys, catch the Gremlins & tell them to bring my life!!

"Me-om!!  We're busy!!"

Treats in the Morning! Treats in the Evening! Treats in the Afternoon??

You always know when it is time to get up at our house because the members of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Kitty Horde come up to you one by one (or two by two, three by three, and rarely four by four!) to remind you that it is Time for Morning Treats!!  This necessitates mom getting out the treat bottle, since I put treats into an large, empty supplement jar that is fairly easy for me to open but is cat-proof (thus far).  Now there are certain rules for getting treats.

Rule #1 - You must sit politely to get your treat(s).

[generally Da Boys get 1-2 at any treat time]

 "See?  I'm sitting all the way down mom!  No, really!"

Rule #2 - No pushing, shoving, or trying to take someone else's treat.  If you do, you have to go last.

Mister Kitten - "I didn't see anyone doing that!"

Zaphoid - "It wasn't me!!"

Rule  #3 - Thou shall not stare at the treat drawer in an effort to make mom give you treats in the middle of the day (even if this works half the time because you are soooOOOooo cute!).

"You are getting sleeeeeepy.  Very sleeeeeepy.
You want to give me treeeeeeeats!"

"Lookee!  We helped mom put up all of the 'This is my costume!'s and the first of the Trick or Treat section yesterday!!  Wheeeee!  Oh wait, there's a lot more to come!  Oh dear, and then Winter Holidays.  Hmmmm, we just might need a nap now.  Sorry mom!"

300th POST!!! Whoot!!

"Wow!!  We're so excited!!  This is our 300th post!!  It's so hard that I'm just going to collapse and take a nap."

"And it's still kinda hot so hanging out here in the sink

helps make me feel better."

"I'll be keeping on the look-out for more good pictures as well as helping mom with graphics in the store!"

"And, of course, as the ComputerKitty I shall be supervising everycat to make sure things are running smoothly!"

"Because we know that everycat is always good... we have some deeeeeelicious treats for everycat!!  We're out of greenies but we highly recommend these.  They are very nummy substitutes!  We've got something around here for the Feeders as well but we're kinda busy eating these nummy nummy treats!!"

"And we want everycat and Feeder to have a great time!!"

PS!  The Paw's Relation! has gotten their award graphic...

we still need to make graphics for...

First Prize - Sweet Praline!

Second Prize - Samantha & Clementine!

Third place - Katnip Lounge!

Harry & Fiona! who tied for Fourth Place with The Paw's Relation!   

Don't forget that everycat who participated

gets to use the participation graphic! 

PPS Today is the purrday of Hexapuma, who is a gorgeous Maine Coon fed by two of my most favorite SF/F writers Sharon Lee & Steve Miller.  They write the Liaden® series which I adore so much that I have two copies of each book to loan out.  Yes, they are that good!!  Sharon put up a post on her blog today with

pictures of this handsome young man.